Second Emulation

From FBI Mysteries to Quirky Humor in Long Legs

• Shawn Juarez • Episode 67

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What happens when a horror film's promise of 1980s nostalgia falls flat, leaving audiences yearning for something more? In this episode, we embark on a candid exploration of "Long Legs," dissecting the film's intriguing premise of an FBI agent on the trail of a serial killer and its star-studded cast, featuring Nicolas Cage and Blair Underwood. Despite its promising 1990s setting and chapter-based structure, the film's execution left us with mixed feelings, sparking conversations about the magic and pitfalls of horror cinema. We compare its narrative rhythm to the successful pacing in "Everything Everywhere All at Once," pondering why the nostalgic allure didn't quite hit the mark.

Join us as we share our personal reflections on the film's standout scenes—or lack thereof—and the quirky charm Nicolas Cage brings to the table. From FBI deduction skills to the humorous absurdity of Cage's role, the film offers moments that entertain but ultimately leave us desiring more depth and coherence. We also touch on the religious and satanic themes woven into the narrative, drawing parallels to genre classics like "Hereditary." With a dash of humor, we wrap up by referencing a quirky Letterboxd review that sheds a unique light on the serial killer's nickname, "Long Legs," as we rate the film a modest 2.5 stars for its unmet potential.

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  📍  Okay, so like, welcome to Second Emulation, the podcast that's all about pop culture, like, literally everything from movies and TV shows to the latest anime crazes. Join us for, like, all the juicy deets and insights on what's happening in the entertainment world. We're, like, totally here to spill the tea on what's hot and what's not, so if you're looking for the ultimate pop culture fix, you're in the right place, honey. So, like, grab a seat, kick off your heels, and let's dive right into it, shall we?

 I'd like to thank for that lovely intro. Um, I'm Shawn,  

I'm Kiley, 

and this is going to be a weird movie as we're wrapping up the end of August and getting into what we call Herb Fall and pea season. Cottage core fall. Yes. Co court fall.  And the movie that we're going to be, uh, reviewing is Long Legs. Now, if you might've saw, you know, TV teasers, people talking about how it's going to be like this new. 

Or 

yeah, just came out this year, 

came out this year.  We have a lot of feelings about this as we watched it and  our reviews or our opinions don't really match up with what everyone's. Talking about. So I think the marketing team for neon. You know did very well 

Oh, this is neon not 824 

I I think so. 

Oh interesting.

I mean we can look it up. I might be talking out of turn  

You're probably right. Honestly, it's either one of those two. They're the ones basically making all horror movies right now, correct? So whoever 

the marketing team is Did it very well to the point that it 

trailer was cut really well 

It made it cut like, you know, it was going to be like really horror You Um, like the new upcoming horror film, you know, 

so for those who don't know what the movie is about, it's about, um,  um, an FBI agent who's pursuing a serial killer.

Uh, and she uncovers a bunch of, uh, occult clues, um, that she has to solve to end the killing spree. And it starts Nicholas Cage, um, Blair Underwood.  Felicia wet and then mike, um, and row, I think is her name.  So that's what it basically is about. It does. The trailer was cut to make it seem like more of a horror movie, which, I guess war is, uh, is a interesting genre now cause it can encompass so many things.

But it seemed like there might be some more scares.  Is that what you mean?  

Well, the  It gave off a lot of like the way it was cut and the way it was presented it gave off a lot of like the 1980s horror like how it was presented like how it started off it gave off like that you know if you watch Freddy Krueger and then Friday the 13th like the colors they used was very It, uh, 

it 

resonated with that, those tones and then like how it tried to like, really push that narrative of like, this is what it's going to be like.

So I presumed it like that. 

Definitely in the nineties, like in the beginning you see, uh, a picture of Bill Clinton, which it would have been, that would have been  made to late nineties. They don't have cell phones in the same way. So it's definitely like an older it's set in an older time and it's cut like almost as if a polaroid picture So old film 

I want to say there's a movie like this.

That's a little bit older. Is it mary's baby?  

Oh, I don't know. I haven't seen that. 

Yeah, but like it The movie, well the movie's film looks updated, but it does set in like a period of time. So it's, it kind of throws you off. But, again, it's like  a lot of stuff's coming at you because you're,  I mean I guess we can get into it.

Like it, it presents itself as a horror. Uh, what horror is very, Subjective because there's so many different jaunts and subcategories in the horror 

We all have different fears, of course like  uh  I'm afraid of being trapped on a submarine. It's just everyone has very different fears other people afraid of clowns It can cross the board.

Yeah, so there's difference Categories like this,  the way the movie opens up like it, it just, you know, it, it sets the, the context  we can, we can like the tone and I, I'm not sure if you felt this way, but I,  I would, I assume like, oh, okay, that's the tone for like, you know, how we're going to go about this.

Cause you know, there's been other  serial killer type movies. You know, FBI, I'm like, oh that's gonna be the tone of it. And it,  it was, it, it added those elements I could say, and then it added other elements.  

I would say, I mean, I kind of felt that way. It started pretty good.  The thing is for me, I am an avid horror movie lover, probably 

I like a good horror movie. It's like a bad horror movie.  For funds, but, uh, for the, had a different expectation going in and well, what we can get into it more, but I thought it did start off strong and that in the tone and then it kind of shifted. Um, cause it ends up being split into three different parts.

That,  that's the part that threw me off. Like it, it had a bit like chapters, which kind of slowed The pace of the film. 

Yeah. And I mean, there are some films that try to do that, that cut and it's not, obviously not all films need to be cohesive, but some are more successful with it than others. Like everything, everywhere, all at once did a good job of cutting it into different parts, you know, like segments for their film.

I think  the first one was like everything, everywhere. And then the next segment was all at once or something like that. But this one, there was a, I was curious as to why they cut it that way. Probably because they were trying to do like a beginning, middle, and end act. First, second, and third act is maybe what they were trying to follow which is old horror movie tropes.

But yeah, I thought it was interesting. It was definitely an interesting take. So, I mean, let's get into it. Did you have any favorite scenes? 

It,  I mean, for a Nicolas Cage movie, Again, it's,  it's hard to actually pick a favorite scene because, uh,  the movie itself as a whole. Um,  I,  my honest opinion is I, I didn't know what I was watching because the movie was broken up in, you know, three different parts. It wasn't cohesive from, you know, start to finish.

And so  I think my first scene would have to be like, it was very small. Um, and it was like, I  don't know what the other people were doing in this agency, like she had this agent  probably the smartest person or the whole group. are just not intuitive to what's going on, but she was able to like literally sit down, figure out the patterns.

And I'm not sure of like, maybe because she actually looked, but these, the other department, like we're missing clues left and right. And apparently they had all this information, but she went into like their archives. I 

mean 

there's 

something to say about I always joke about it when people are learning or new people are training or training new people.

It's A new set of eyes is always  great when you've been doing something for a very long time. Cause someone who hasn't been doing something for a very long time will come in and be and wonder why you're doing it that way. And then they'll all  try to make their own deductions and so it's possible they just didn't see any of it.

because  Looking at it a specific way, um, but  also there's also the, uh, the, I guess, uh,  the fact that  she  has experienced with the, with the, with. It as we later find out. 

Yeah, so the, I mean  it, it just, for me, that just happens to be a favorite scene because, you know,  she's been, I'm assuming they're after this individual, will, you know, for.

I'm not sure for how long. He's prolific and so they have all the data, all this information and that all it took was just like real, just sit down, going through the stuff and it's like, we're just gonna, you know, common sense. We're just going to take common, good old fashioned police, police for common sense. 

Yeah, sleuthing and some like, you know, that's  it was just weird No, it was we're just like it was interesting like she was the only one I mean anyone else could have done it So that was my favorite part were you seeing her do the breakdown?  And I was like, it was so simple. I find that And then when she presented it the guy was like, uh,  like her, her boss was like, how's this correlate to everything going on?

She goes, it's a pattern. You know, it's, it's the thing. It's 

a pattern. The people are all born on the 14th or whatever. Uh, so that's your favorite scene? Yeah, 

that, that was my favorite scene because like, she found something that essentially, you know, They either missed or they had all this time and they just didn't Never connected it.

So they had this data and when she presented it to them, it was like, it was like they were deer in headlights, especially her boss. And I'm like,  you were looking for this guy for this whole time, and it was just under your nose. Yeah. So that was one that was my favorite scene. 

One of mine would have to be, I enjoyed. 

A lot of the points where Nick Cage was in just because he's so fatty But I will say the part with where he's in the retail store And he's he's like calling the girl a little angel and doing things Like making weird things and the girl yells to the back dad that weird guy is back again And he leaves and he starts screaming in his car.

I thought that was funny Uh, because that is something I feel like  What would happen with a teenager versus a child, um, I mean obviously as a child, you know,  I mean as an adult and there are still people who are susceptible and obviously criminal like people who want to murder and do stuff Well, often we'll still do it I'm not saying if there's like  kids aren't smart enough to not know but I will say you're more you have less awareness of strangers as a child and what they're capable of and  You're taught to be nice to people  Even if they look a little lost and Nick Cage definitely looks lost in this movie So as a child you probably would be like, uh Okay, but still be nice and then as a teen you're just like absolutely not I don't want to be around you except that that's funny. 

I my other favorite scene would I think  favorite scenes are just Any time he was on screen, like just for him, even if there were just brief, Nickages character, just on screen because he, he just seemed out of place, like he didn't belong there. They just, you know, insert his character because the costume, how he looked, he like was,  I want to say like albino without actually being albino like he was like ghostly In a sense, like he very pale.

His hair was also like white. Um, and he, his skin also looked like wider, almost like, I guess you could say almost ash. So he just looked like he was out of place among people that he stuck out. So anytime he was on, on screen was part of my favorite. Cause he just looked like an ad more abnormality, to be honest, like he just didn't belong, you know?

Yeah. Uh, I, I mean I agree, I did, I agree with those, those scenes being some of my favorite. I also liked, um, 

I guess I  would say,  I like the I'm  trying to figure out what other scenes I would I  decided the ones with him in it  I really wanted to like this movie too because I have been itching to see it You know, I've been I know you to watch it for four weeks I do love a good horror movie, but I find that I like a horror movie that  is kind of in Similar to I guess the original Mindhunter.

The whole them deducing what makes a person tick. That kind of thing. I felt like this horror, like fear street. 

I feel like  I've,  and this could be far like a reach. I feel like. they were going in that direction with this film, like they were pulling parts of that. Parts of like, you know, 80s horror. And they were like putting that together.

Cause it felt like,  that's like this big puzzle of like stew that they were cooking  because,  and then they are some  other other elements, like cult spiritual, Stuff going on. So it was trying to like create this thing, but yeah,  dissect the, the hunter or the killer. 

Yeah. I mean, I guess I would just have to say anytime Nick Cage used that voice, which is so distinctly him, but he's like trying to sound like a weirdo is the best way because to say like he's doing some weird whispery thing and that was enjoyable, but cause it made me laugh, even though I don't think that was the intention.

His voice. is reminiscent of him playing, um, Big Daddy. And 

Kick Ass! And Kick Ass!  When he screams, I was like, it sounds like them from the movie Kick Ass. Which, I think it was better. And so, yeah, interesting. I would say, I don't have too many favorite scenes. I thought overall it was, it was, like, meh. It was okay.

It wasn't terrible, but it wasn't the best I've seen.  Did you have any least favorite scenes?  

I mean, like, I'm 

trying to think what my least favorite scenes were. I think, 

I think the most least favorite scene of mine is when, uh,  When we find out like, um,  why he was singing happy birthday, like  there was like real no connection or  I think really finding out the purpose of why he did what he did. I 

don't know why they picked around the 14th. I mean, they could have said it in the movie and I just overlooked it.

I just know it's surrounded girls  around their 14th birthday.  

Okay. 

I mean, sorry, around their, their birthday on the 14th. I don't know why he picked the I think my, 

okay, I think my least favorite scene is when they actually catch him  and then he decides to commit suicide by smashing his own face in.

Into the um, table by wishing uh, while also wishing happy birthday, you know, or telling the  the FBI agent who's interrogating him, you know, kills himself, you know  by 

there's no reason for it, I  live a day after life like you've done all this stuff Your work is done and then you're just gonna take yourself out? And he, and he was happy, like he had no, there was no aggression from him. Like he was happy, like his work was gonna continue. 

I think because his work was gonna continue through her mother. 

Because he had an accomplice.  Reveal, yeah. Um, was that he had an accomplice. I  think that  for me my least favorite scene,  it's unfortunate because I enjoyed the scene.  Nicholas Cage, but I also feel like it was too very much like Buffalo Bill put the lotion on the skin kind of weirdly androgynous  Murderer, which I don't enjoy that because it's not typically people who are who are Androgynous or queer who are but the one thing I would say I probably like the least was the whole satanic cult ritual We both grew up in religion.

So obviously it seems like a huge thing, but Realistically, like, the satanic, uh, um, religion, people are not violent. People don't typically sacrifice humans or do any of that. The people that have done that and said that they did it in the name of Satan were people who were using that as an excuse to commit murder. 

Like Charlie manson or all of those others, son of Sam, all those other people if they weren't actually practicing Satanist It's not that I'm not that I am either  I just don't subscribe to any religion. I just thought that that was kind of a  cheap sort of  write off and ending to the, to the whole thing.

You know, I get,  I get that it, it makes sense cause he's supposed to be like a wacko, 

but 

I find it more interesting to understand why real people do these things and realistically people who are under some type of delusion about Satan or who are using it to their own advantage, they're not,  they're not, it wasn't just real, it wasn't realistically portrayed in my personal  

And for me, like the 

Like how he killed it wasn't it didn't they did not the instruments that he used to commit these murders  Yes, when the big reveal is, and you know, laid out for you and you're looking at this like, okay, um, you find out that the FBI agents mom is the accomplice, you made some deal. And then you're like, okay, well, how has he been committing these  murders?

Cause he himself, you know, has no blood on his hands. Essentially, he's not the one committing the murders. Um, and you find out this doll is this conduit, and somehow, the presence of this doll is just making these people commit these acts. 

They're possessed by a human or thing? Or him? Yeah, 

they're possessed by something, but like, something In the doll is a, you know, you know, so influential out of these individuals that, you know, the mere suggestion of, you know, the mom is making them just commit these acts, which doesn't explain anything because, you know, they don't explain how it can occur, like the mass influence.

It's just 

like the metal thing apparently has a little bit of his demonic evil spirit in it.  Making these people commit mass murder. 

Yeah, like it just like it, you know, there's something inside that makes a tone there. They don't really go They don't deep dive into it. It's like it just happens. 

It just happens.

Yeah Uh, I mean I would say too and to tail on to that I they the mom justifies her reasoning as to why she's helping along  To save her own daughter basically because he had put his Sights on her daughter and rather than have her daughter die or whatever, she chose to go along with delivering these dolls that have his essence to families and staying there while they kill  by the fam.

Like the fathers of the families kill the rest of the members of the family. And she says that she would do it again and like she's justified 'cause she protected her daughter. And I don't know if any, I don't know. I don't know. I can't say I'm not a mom, but. That seems like a lot of lives to weigh against the weight of your child's life, you know?

Yeah. And a lot of things you would have to witness. And she ultimately ends up dying at her daughter's hand anyway, so. 

This guy was creating ghetto horcruxes. 

Yeah, like a horcrux to take on. And I, I think obviously her spirit was shifted a little bit and he was living in her house.  The car was in the thing.

That's another thing from, from that, that.  is not really explained. So it's, it's a bunch of stuff. 

The FBI, the FBI,  it's like  the, the villain or the criminal, like in just plain sight  and just the FBI are just poor at their job. That they're just unaware of the surroundings that they're so in tune on everything around that they missed the so obvious details.

That was essentially. You know, Nick Cage's character. He was literally in plain sight that everyone else just failed to see it. And I'm not sure maybe it was fun that way. 

I also don't  think it's possible because people are mean in society and he definitely  looked  interesting.  The type of interesting that would be memorable.

Like I understand they're kind of in the country too, but it's the kind of one where people would. I think people would feel uncomfortable in his presence and people would act weird and people wouldn't like him because he does look a little bit off his rocker and so to me for no one to to like bat an eye about him just walking around driving around  doing the thing he does looking the way he does no one remembers what he looks like I just don't  I don't buy it.

Yeah, it just doesn't make. It doesn't make sense. But again, does any movie that Nick Cage does make sense? 

Yeah, I mean, and he wasn't even at the forefront of this movie. He was just the person with long legs.  

Which that in itself does never get explained. 

No, he kinda looks like a doll when you think about it.

He's because he's super pale like porcelain doll.  

Oh, yeah, that could,  that could be it. He's like a living object. 

Still, it doesn't make sense. So, you know, It was just a movie that at the end it, I wish I had, hadn't hyped myself up for it so much from the trailer and from other people because I thought it was going to be something different.

And then I watched it and I wouldn't say it was bad. Again. It wasn't a bad movie. I don't think it was a great movie, like, obviously, other movies in the, in the, in this, um, this, this  genre of horror, like, specifically religious horror, I think there are other ones that are way better, even Satanic, like, Hereditary was very scary, also very well done, very well acted, like, that shit was weird.

I didn't 

watch that. 

No, you didn't. I don't think you would enjoy it. You would probably freak out, but it was very freaky movie. Um, and then, you know, they're the ones that are better, uh, that are campy, like the nun, uh, and those types of things. They're meant to be there. They're meant to be scored scary, but come on, they're kind of funny.

So, yeah, I think that this is supposed to be in that genre, but I wouldn't necessarily say it has quite a place there. It was just okay. I 

felt led astray. 

Yeah, led astray was probably the best thing I could say about that movie. Um,  so did you  have any other least favorite scenes? 

I think, and you already mentioned this, you already talked about it, but I think my  least favorite scene is when you find out, you know,  the reason why. You know, her mom was the accomplice, which is so she can save her daughter from what, you know,  from being a prize, being like side set up. Like it didn't really make any sense.

Like, you know, what was the thing? And like, you, you commit yourself to helping this guy murder people for X amount of years, you know, under the, and you live in the same house. 

I guess the weird thing is, I guess the problem is not knowing why he's doing what he's doing.  It seems like his why is just to commit murder, which  even most murderers all have a reason as to why they do it.

Including that they like it, but that doesn't come across in this film, so. 

And she just 

lives with him, which I think is the weirdest thing of all. Yeah, 

you just let this guy live with you. You know, it's hard to say that they weren't, he wasn't intimate with the mom at any moment. Well, don't 

think about that, but I doubt that he was.

He seems to be obsessed with children. 

I mean, he was long legs. 

An odd one is what he was. 

I mean, it's,  you can say like the whole film was bad.  I didn't want to say it was 

bad, but. 

I mean, the actors, Overall, I just, you know, given, it was almost, it was like a period piece on trauma, really, 

I want to say recessive, not recessive trauma, but like, you know, trauma  or hidden trauma, because it was more so about the FBI agent uncovering, you know, past trauma.  including that only to realize like,  she somehow included in this whole thing that she forgot and kind of pushed away. 

Yeah.  

But, you know,  this movie had a lot of different layers.

There's a lot of different story elements that you could get into, you know, 

which  You get to talk around in circles. I mean, I think  if you take, you know, Nick Cage's character out long legs, the movie will probably be better  for it, you know, and just have it just be centered on the mom's the one on the killing spree.  

Yeah, yeah, I mean, I agree. What would you say?  What is your rating, or your final thoughts on it?

Uh, I would have to give this  a 2  and a half.  Reasons for is this, um,  the trailer misled me on what the movie was actually going to be about. And so it hyped up, and then you hyped me up on the movie.  I did. 

And 

you know what, actually, I think I dug my opened line. A lot 

of people, uh, It, they had a really good marketing campaign and a lot of people went thinking they were going to get something else out of it.

And maybe, maybe we all expect jumpscares or we're all looking for a very specific brand of horror. But yeah, I would give it a 2. 5 because I did have other expectations. 

Like I had set myself up for some, for a certain experience for film and then And I got  letdown, so first time  

Yeah 

I got something else, so that's, I'll give that to you 

And the 2.

5 is simply because I thought Nicholas Cage was Cuckoo as usual and all the actors did a great job acting And you know the film was shot. Well As far the biggest issue for me is just the storyline  

Yes  the storyline how it was chopped,  um  I mean You could probably give nick cage more screen time. I mean he was  He had less screen time in this movie.

He was like the big boogeyman. He was in and he was out. And that was it. 

Yeah. Oh, and I guess I have to say my other least favorite part is when she see someone outside of her cabin, and then she goes out and he puts a letter in there and leaves without being captured by her. Like, Is he just this friggin spirit?

Like, How does he do that?  

Yeah, That's 

Weird. Is he supposed to have some You Some type of  

supernatural ability. 

Supernatural ability yeah, and then he's catching the bus at one point, but he has a car. I don't know it all seems very odd, but I guess that should lead us to um,  what reviews did you pick for this 

one?

So yeah, we'll start reading our reviews. I shall go first. So our reviews are going to be from a letterbox  And I got, let's see here.  So my first one is going to be from there.  There's a hole. That's the username.  They gave it a three and a half.  You know stars  calling yourself long legs as a serial killer is so cunty and low key like what if I went by the the big fat juicy booty strangler 

And so that's my first one, I mean obviously the username, you know undesirable but that's one caught 

my eye In the sense of that's like a queer underground term Um, yeah, like just kind of kind of a funny name to give yourself. Although I guess  Murders don't really  Have  the insight to give themselves great names But yeah, mine is my first one is uh is gonna be from logan and it says Uh, he's  or they I don't know.

I don't know if they even gave it any stars, but You  They said Nick has the keys to his own cage, and he's let himself loose yet again, and then he says mommy Daddy, and that's his his review.  

I have two, but one of them actually gave it like a little bit higher  And I think maybe because it was just like they're trying to be you know Satire so I'm gonna read the one that I thought was actually best This is from username Zoe Rose Bryant.

She gave it two stars. As we were leaving the theater, my sister goes, Why do you always make us watch the weirdest shit?  

Oh, that makes me think of, uh, my sister and how she asked me to stop talking to her about true crime.  Because I would always tell her, she'd ask me about my day and then I'd tell her.

And at one point she was like, Hey, can you please not tell me about what you read anymore? And I was like, okay, sure. Yeah, that's fair. Uh, so I get it. I too am the one that's always bringing people to see weird shit.  Sometimes we just exist.  Um, okay. And this one is from Gambino's burner and it says long legs.

Oh, they gave it four stars out of five. And they said long legs blood curdling scream in the car is literally me After I get off my four hour shift at my very easy job,  you know, the screamery screaming in the car Yeah, yeah, I thought that was funny. Also. I noticed that the poster actually has the little thing in there Uh the little ball which would make that movie make more sense if I had seen that Marketing, but that's not what I saw.

So yeah, like 

I thought it was more so like the ashes of the victims that he killed You 

No, I, it's like his essence apparently.  I mean, I don't get it, man. . Well, when they say, when 

they say essence, I'm thinking like he's just funking in a ball. Oh, 

that's gross  essence. I mean, maybe he is spunk in a ball, but I don't wanna think about Nick.

Kay. The long legs doing that. That's weird 

that, I mean, what, when you say essence, that's the only like by blood, like 

his, like his satanic essence, a demon demonic essence. 

Green blood. 

It's possessing people for their fathers to kill their families.  

I guess. 

I don't know man. It's a freaking movie. It didn't make sense. 

You can't put a rationale on it.  

I guess. 

Yeah, I guess too. 

So,  on that note, um, we're going to leave you with some, you know, final last words. Um, how about you? What 

is it? 

What is 

it? Oh, I forgot it.  I lost my hand, I lost my wife, Johnny has his hand, Johnny has his wife. 

And with that everyone, we'll call it a day and we'll catch you in the next one.

I'm

a vampire. 

 Bye.

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