📍 Welcome to Second Emulation, the podcast that explores all things pop culture, from movies and TV shows to the latest anime releases. Join us as we dive into the world of entertainment, sharing our thoughts, opinions, and insights on the latest trends and releases. With a focus on what's hot and what's not, we're your go-to source for all things pop culture. So sit back, relax, and let's get started
I'd like to thank Emily for the great intro read. For those who don't know, Emily is a unique character. She's, you know, the one who works behind the scenes, does the editing, and you hear at the beginning of the podcast during the background music and also at the end. So for those who don't know, she's, you know, the silent warrior that kind of helps.
You know, things on the side, you know, so she's the lovely voice you hear. But again, myself is you know Shawn
and I'm
Kiley And today we have an interesting movie Malfunctions in the Cage verse and the Go ahead, yeah The Nick Cage verse going through the multiverse We're still continuing this trend of seeing How many Nick Cage movies we can watch and it seems like after We help you We knock one down, a few more just pop up like weeds.
Yeah, he released seven, seven of his movies came out this year. So, yes, he's had a fantastic year. COVID has been good to him. Yes,
yes. And the movie in question is The Retirement Plan.
Retirement Plan. Yes, I think that, that one did just come out.
Correct. And what's the premise? What's the synopsis for this movie?
For this movie, that is a great question. So basically I can read it in a second, but it's about a guy. Well, it's about a guy who was a CIA operative, I think, right? And he, he's retired. and doesn't speak to his daughter anymore. And she gets into some trouble and she sends her, her daughter. So his granddaughter to go to where he is.
While she tries to get out of the trouble. And what ends up happening is these criminals that she's associated with then go after the identify as terrorists then go after their granddaughter who seems to think she has what they need.
That's the synopsis, what I think really happens is that they They approached Nick Cage while he was on vacation and I'm like, Hey man, we got this, you know, we got this script for a movie idea.
Perfect. And he was like, sure, let me read it. And he goes, cool. When do we start? Like right now, because the guy looked like they just found him on a beach. He
does. He definitely looks like a transient. He's literally when his granddaughter meets him for the first time. He's asleep on the beach Yeah from being drunk and had passed out and also his daughter Had previously not known he was a CIA operative apparently just had no idea that he was this person.
So
There are some big names in this
film. Yeah, you got Ron Perlman who I just realized was in the The Last Witch Hunter, the witch season. Season of The Witch. Yeah they were in that movie together. They played Templar Knights. Yeah
And I feel like, you know for this film, it's, the contractual Nic Cage were like, you know what, you don't have to try so hard.
Cause I feel like he was just, lazily just coasting
through. He was just there. Well, they have Ron Perlman, Nick Cage. Ashley Green, for those who don't know, she was, her biggest role was Alice in the movies, Twilight, or the Twilight series. And then, who's the guy who, who plays his old, buddy, who's also was like in Ghostbusters or whatever?
He is That
one actor, he's like really well known too. Trying to find, Is it like David Ernie Hudson. There it is.
Why did I think it was Joseph? But he's also in The Crow.
Oh yeah, that's where he wasn't he also in Ghostbusters? He is. Okay, see, I thought so. I thought he was in Ghostbusters. He's also in this movie.
As for that, outside of them, I don't think there's really any There's like, familiar faces, but they're not really anyone I would
know. This movie, I felt, like, majority of the budget. went to the actors,
Oh, it definitely didn't go to the fight sequences. It didn't go to,
it didn't go. It didn't go to the action.
It didn't go to set props, anything. It went heavily went to the, the actors because there were some questionable things here that made you raise an eyebrow and,
and I know that's common for Nick Cage films. But I feel like this one was just like. In the world of 2023, this does not make sense.
What were some of your
I guess on that note, yeah, what were some of favorite scenes?
Let's start with favorite scenes, as usual, because I feel like, weak areas of the movie we have enough of.
Okay.
I'm gonna have to think very hard on this, because it's just like the knowing, like, it's hard to really think of a favorite scene.
I have a favorite scene, but it's because it, it's just really bad, and I thought that it was humorous. So there's this scene, so I guess I'll go first. There's this scene when, his, he's trying to get away with his, he's on the boat with his, his friend, Ernie Hudson, whatever his name is in the movie, I don't know.
And his daughter and granddaughter are there, but his granddaughter's been kidnapped. So she's with, she's with Ron Perlman, but the, they're being like attacked by the criminals who want whatever she stole from them or her, Ashley Greene's character's boyfriend or husband or whoever stole basically, they're after them and so they have to defend themselves and, you know, use their expert CIA skills and there's this one scene where Nicolas Cage like gets a gun thrown at him and then he, he jumps into the water to like shoot somebody.
But, Alpha jumps off the boat into the water, but it's very clear that like, it doesn't make sense. Like, when they throw the gun and he catches it and he jumps off and then shoots, like it just doesn't make sense, and it looks wrong. So when it's happening you're like, he didn't jump far enough. There's no way he jumped far enough to make that happen, for the gun to get there, like with the trajectory that it's going, but yet.
He somehow catches it like someone just like, you know, hand tossed it to him at a shot and he caught it and then just like, you know, shoots, but it looks like someone just caught one of those frisbee guns and then just shot and then he like lands in the water, but I think that whoever's landing in the water is not Nicolas Cage.
It just very, it looks very, very, very, very off and it's, I, it made me laugh because it was so bad. Very obvious, like you could see it, you could tell. What was going on? I,
okay. I think and that's magic. Movie magic. That's Hollywood gears turning. They want you to use your imagination to like to fill in the blanks, to, to perceive that what you're seeing is really, you know, Happening and it's weird because like when you catch it like this seems
odd.
Yeah. I'm pretty sure they use CGI, which okay, is a choice for action movie. But it's a weird choice when like there's so many props you could have that make it look, you know, appear more realistic or things they could have done. It was a choice they made. It's definitely not a good one so.
Ok, I think my favorite scene has to be the interaction with his granddaughter.
Like him seeing her and then having this awkward talk with like, I didn't know I had a granddaughter. And essentially just conveying like they're both estranged. Like she thought he was dead because You know the mother Assumed that she had told the daughter that he was dead And so he was just I was never part of that life to begin with so Having to like now I have to take care of you and make sure you're alive the interaction was more like he didn't treat her like O, this is my grandad.
He treated her more like a pet.
Yeah Yeah, thats definitely true. And
so, his intera, I was like lets go to eat here. And, so it was kind of awkward. I thought that was interesting because here's this person like I never had to take care of anyone. I was just a dead be Ay now I have to like keep this thing alive.
Yeah, even though he was in the CIA And has a fully grown daughter. But yeah, he definitely doesn't know how to take care of her. Which
also There's this weird type cast and like motif go motif or, I think motif
is, right? Well it depends on what you're gonna say. Go ahead.
Of going around. We're like, where does Hollywood, you know, go around making these movies where like you have these train Killing Machine Assassins and they're like these old over the hill Characters were like one foot in Through death's door and one foot out and yet he's like, you know, there's like movie read you have taken Some is
like an action guy at Bruce Willis when Bruce Willis was still before he stopped.
Equalizer 3. Equalizer, 3. Yeah, like Any of those films, yeah, they have really old action stars. And I hate to include it. Obviously you got the same with Keanu Reeves is in there and John Wick, but John Wick is a more, it's a well done and better done series. Well Keanu Reeves Visually, and he does, Keanu Reeves does a good job and he's not, he's not that old compare, comparatively to everyone else.
Well this, what separates, we're going off, what separates that is that he's like kicking, flipping, you know, actually hand to hand combat. Yeah. These other ones are like, they're not doing much hand to hand combat, it's like, oh, a slap here is like, like hand motion And the guys like, you know, some rustling move and the guy like, falls on the blade or, yeah there's not much effort.
Here, no, I think it's interesting too that you could have a character, I'm not saying she's a good actress, the, the one who plays his daughter, but age wise in Hollywood for women when they reach a certain age they can only play like mothers. That's usually what they get as like motherly roles. But here's these old men who are somehow trained assassins and they, who were like in their seventies I, I'm sorry I would just rather take my chances.
Yeah. So, that
was What's he gonna
do, have a little heart attack when we're running away? Yeah, that was my,
that is my take on it like that's Like, there's been like a common theme where like, he's the most dangerous, like his records have been sealed and once they're open, oh my God, we shouldn't mess with him.
He's, yeah, , he's killed so many, they redacted his, like, he's a killing machine. We sent him to like solve problems and like the guy's over like almost pushing. He's
retired now. . Yeah. He's literally the retirement plan. He's sleeping on the beach. Yeah. He's not, he's not a, whatever he wants was. I will say the, my other favorite scene is I really liked the interactions between, Ron Perlman's character and the granddaughter who he kidnaps.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, like he's like, he's really good at literature or whatever and spelling and the, and they, they like talk about books and they play games. Honestly, it just felt like he was babysitting her the entire time until it got to the point where she all of a sudden was, you know.
He had more chemistry with her and that's not supposed to be his granddaughter that Nick
Cage did. They fleshed out Ron Perlman's character and that interaction much more than what the hell Nick Cage was doing. You know on the back end with his daughter And everything was going on Yeah You spent more time with Ron Perlman and the granddaughter I was like shit.
They could have just did a whole
Probably would have been a significantly better movie It would have been about, a movie about a guy His apartment was getting close and the retirement end and he's a gangster or the mob, whatever, criminal, lifetime criminal. And he, they ended up kidnapping a little girl who he ends up forming a bond with over literature.
Like that would be way more interesting than than what we saw. But you know, I always think about it when we watch these movies, I always think hundreds of people sat there. And when this movie was proposed, when it was fleshed out, when they wrote the script, when they filmed. So many people thought it was a good idea.
It's crazy
to me. And yet the understanding I probably go, it probably goes through many different rewrites. Oh yeah. And so you have to assume what was the first initial rough draft and the title for that movie before they set out on the retirement plan? Because we watched this movie from beginning to end and nowhere In the film, did they address their reti like retirement plan?
Yeah. Nick Cage's character, I guess he just retired and that was he. Yeah. He, he was retired , you know, but yeah, he was still like, he wasn't really working. He was just, he was just drinking. He was drinking.
He was like, and then he, he had to whoop some ass. Yeah. Like he was right back where he needed to
be.
But it never, like the title of the movie, like never really f. Fit the film.
Yeah, I would say too Honestly, the movie is, is more so forgettable. Like I've, I've forgotten most of what happened mm hmm. Because it was you know, it is what it is. Those are my favorite scenes. Did you have a second favorite scene?
No.
Oh, Yes. So my favorite scene Mind you Whoever came up with the idea is like the criminals Where Nick Cage was, or where they sent the daughter, is that they had to get flights to Miami, so wherever the criminal bosses were, they had to send people to fly to the location where he was isolated at, and I'm like, and apparently it was like a day trip, or a few hours, I don't know, but these guys were like flying economy, Which didn't make any sense,
like, Well, it's movie magic.
Time doesn't exist in movies.
Yeah, so like, it was very sus. Like, oh yeah, we're gonna get you on these flights. It was just weird. I think that's my favorite scene because they're supposed to be like this criminal organization. If they're doing something, they, they would have had like their own jet to fly down, but yet they were flying economy, you know.
so I could get there quicker or if they knew where they were going to take a book, they could have been, you know, a lot of different. Why subjugate your, your henchman to all this whole deal where they have to go through, you know, T, TSA,
pre check all this other stuff, you know, Rick Fox in this movie? Yes.
Oh my god, why did I just remember that? Cause I was thinking this criminal enterprise has like a boss. And then a boss of the boss, I for completely forgot about the cops who come to like investigate what's happening and one of 'em is dirty and they're trying to figure that out while also they somehow know that Nick Cage is like some badass and they're trying to figure it out while he's also getting rid of everyone.
Did you you that. For those that that was the movie. Okay, so the the movie is called retirement plan you find out Nick Cage's daughter in this Her husband was an informant working for the drug lord and they had information and that was going to be like their way of getting out. So maybe that was
the
retirement plan.
But he dies.
Yeah, spoiler alert.
Yeah. But then after that, it was never brought up until later in the film.
Okay, yeah. And while we're on that note, that actually is a perfect segue into Some of the weakest parts of the movie. One of those definitely has to be to me that the daughter and her baby daddy slash husband are supposed to be people who worked with these other criminals and Yet are not particularly skilled at being criminals Like maybe she wasn't but he got her involved to steal something.
Was it a flash drive? I can't even remember anymore but he doesn't even think it out. He sends them on a boat and he's like, Okay, I'm gonna send you away, and then you know, I'm gonna take care of it. But he doesn't get very far or do anything cause he's immediately caught and then they immediately know, she puts the daughter on the plane and she's supposed to fly out.
They go separately but she decides to wait for her husband. She flies out separately from her daughter and then they get her. I'm just like, you guys didn't think this through at all? You're supposed to be criminals! Even if you're not a career criminal, I can't imagine not having a backup plan Or thinking like an emergency exit plan Or just any kind of plan Even freaking Jennifer Lopes has a plan and granted she's escaping!
Domestic abuse, so that's why, and, and you know, great film highly recommend. But, yeah, I just thought that was so, it was just so odd. And then also, all the criminals, were almost cartoonish. Like, the, the guy who was the boss of Ron Perlman. and then the person who was his boss and then the person who was her boss.
Like, they all seem kind of cartoon, char, caricatures almost of, of mob people. Rather than actual mob people.
Yeah, they, they look like they were pulled out of like a mafia movie. And just how they talk, how they ran stuff, it was weird. Like they were more, they were old school, but yet they were more efficient at certain things, but yet they were slow.
Yeah, it was, it's, it, the only thing I can equate it to is Goodfellas in Holiday in the Sun, the movie with the Olsen twins when they're preteens. It's like that. You put them in that movie and that's what that was. So out of place. It's like that John Travolta gif where he's confused. From, Pulp Fiction.
It's just, it was odd. That was a, I definitely think in a weak area
for me. For me, a weak area would have to be just the overall, like, tone of the film. Like, from, I want to say once, you know, you, we get to like, you're looking for like, okay, where's the climax? Where are we getting to like the initial threat is I think when the daughter is like, Taken, you know, and then we get to the actual action scenes the weakest part for me is when they go to the hotel and This is where you have to like make it believable with Nic Cage taking on these beef goons in a one on one setting by Opening the door and pulling these guys in and just, one at a time, one at a time, just, you know, punching them until they drop.
Yeah. This was not believable because again, Nick Cage's body and the guy that they had for the goons look like MMA fighters. Yeah, Nick Cage's body looked like he had been drinking, like he was steadily drinking, so he had the body of a dad's body and these guys look like they were in the gym, you know, working out lean, and they had muscle mass.
So, you know, here's Nick Cage. Pulling these guys in, surprising them and just molo wap in them Left, right, his daughey just watching this happen A complete shock And
complete shock I had no idea her dad was involved in anything with the CIA
And there were moments were like he's holding them and then like the, the goon I'm just gonna say goon Which like like You know, push into Nick Cage.
And here I thought, Oh, well, that's it. But yet he's taking these hits like. Like, he's a young, spry 20 year old. Yeah. So, It's
definitely
For me, those are weak points because there's no way someone of that age could be, you know, taking, making it believable.
And listen, it's not, we're not ageists. Yeah.
Because, Nick Cage, okay, a great example would be, I think a better example would be, Tom Cruise Mission Impossible. He Tom Cruise is older than Nicolas Cage And he's old and you would think when you see him you're like I don't know if he could take this stuff, but I would probably say that Tom Cruise is better is a better action star He knows his strengths and he plays to him and he does a lot of of his own stunts And I just I believe more.
I believe more Tom Cruise When he's fighting, then I did Nicolas Cage and maybe it's his, like, body type or his gait, or the way that he tried to, to embrace the role. I don't know it just did not, it doesn't, it didn't, it didn't work. It was
almost like lazy fighting.
Yeah. And you're just like, there's no way.
And, I'm not even just lazy fighting, lazy writing. I think too with at least movies like Mission Impossible. You know what you're going to get. But, they also are visually better and they, Concoct these sort of things that will that will kind of sort of amaze you action wise and So you're super into it, and that's great Or you have Tom cruise jumping off that really high bike and Scott, but you have crazy stuff in those this one Which is he he fought goons one at a time as they're coming through a hotel room door You cannot tell me that these people would not have tried to figure out another way in Go withv or Orion V
or Skyrim V DX or beat
it down or
shoot through the door Yeah literally, by the first person who gets pulled in not and they had guns They had Guns on them.
Yeah, so I'm like at what point do they not just take out a gun and shoot him and I'm like, so So
that was
a weak area for me cuz I'm like so you're just letting this old guy just Body walk you. Yeah and I'm sure they probably read the script like Oh I just have to let Nic. K just beat me up. Yeah. I'm down.
I'm down. All right.
Well, Who else is, who's older, who's also really good. Michelle Yao. She does a really good
job. Yeah. I see Michelle Yao comes from like, a background. She's a dancer and a, play performer,
right? She's a, she was a professional dancer before she, and then when her career ended. She became like a stuntwoman and an actress and she does all of her own like all of her stuff And she's taken martial arts and things like that.
So it's more fluid with her like you can tell That's just unrelated. I just really love Michelle. Yeah, so yeah, I well I was gonna say the other thing I think would be the weak part of the movie is is that it it doesn't really fit you I guess this is the best way to say it, like, the movie, there's a plot, it's there, kind of if you blink or you squint, but it, nothing really moves it forward in a way that, that makes sense or is even like the, the story doesn't make sense.
It doesn't make sense in any way. I think they tried to do too many things at one time. Probably. Because you've got Nicolas Cage's relationship with his daughter. You've got the fact that she's got something these people want. You've got like, his granddaughter being kidnapped. And then the granddaughter's relationship with that person.
And then you also have the quote unquote, dirty cop. It's just too many plot points. You can't really invest in any anything. So you don't care. And then you, they're trying to amaze you with their, their action and it's not amazing. So,
I mean, you can get the same movie by removing the daughter and the grand daughter.
You know, you eliminate them from it. And it'd be the same.
Yeah, absolutely. Like you couldn't even, it would be the same thing. Even his best friend, who's supposed to be. Longest person you know, we get shot. And it, that scene too was really poorly done. It, it just didn't make sense. It didn't make sense. And I would say that's probably for me.
One of the weakest parts, I think that they spent a lot of money getting the talent that they wanted. Which was great cause like Ron Perlman did great. Nick Cage kind of phoned it in and then the other people were fine But I think they probably should have spent money on other things
Yeah, they're like we can only we only have enough budget to film and one note this general location And if it shows like the set wise they didn't go very far It felt like they were Filming in someone's backyard, in a hotel lot, and that was it.
agreed. What would you, rate this film? Oh, I would give it
a one. One. It's not the worst. We've seen, we did watch the knowing and we've watched that about one Shanghai, one, whatever the frack that was where his testicle got blown off. That's probably the worst one I've seen. So I'd give it a one.
I give it a, a one and a half, just 'cause it's, it's a Nick Cage film and this just shows that he's multifaceted.
There's nothing, there's no bar too low for Nick Cage. I think we
figured that out with the, the animatronics movie. Willies one, Julian . There's no, which still was better than this one. So yeah, I feel like if I rated that one, one or lower. My mistake as we continue to go on in this journey. I'm learning what my threshold is now
Yeah, like there there is nothing he won't do for a bug.
Yeah. And that brings me actually to my, to
my review. So like we always do, we. are going to move it to our next part of our next segment of the podcast where we like to scavenge letterbox for people who've also watched the movie and see what they have to say about the film. Now we like to always pick two.
So you've heard us talk about what, you know, This whole movie, like what our reviews are for the film, but we'd like to know what other people, said about the film. So would you like to go
first? Yeah. So mine, first one is going to be by Connor. And they wrote, I hope this helped pay for your child support, Nicholas Cage.
And that is how I feel about the film. I think that this was just a check, and I hope you were well paid, sir. Sir Nicholas. Oh, and they rated it one star.
Okay, so for me was, from username jaybird, Nicholas Cage has a desire. And one day really retire. He has a drive to stay alive in between all the gunfire.
Someone wrote a poem. And they gave it two and a half stars. Wow! So a little bit higher than when I gave it, but, but they, I think that's a, maybe a haiku?
That would be five, seven, five. So no, I think they've got like four lines.
Okay, well, they were cooking with grease on this one. Yeah,
they were doing it.
Okay, well mine is, my next one is from, I don't know what this name is, but JB4 or 3ver? Or is it supposed to be JB4ever? Is that what that is? Mm hmm. Oh, well, then I, I'm old. They gave it one and a half stars and they said they didn't know the CW was doing theatrical releases now, which I think is actually the perfect summation of this film.
It felt like a CW movie, except now CW actually has a bit better CG than than this movie did.
Oddly enough, I, I saw that one, so that one's the one I was going to pick also. Did you pick it? Yeah. Oh wow, so we picked the same one! Yeah, like literally that called to me.
It's
JB Forever, you got picked twice for this.
You did it. You
caught both of our eyes. Yes,
yes. And both of our souls. I mean, literally, this, cause this actually would really say, this felt like it was, it had the budget of a. CGTCW Television Show like if for those who probably don't know what CW is But it's a network TV, and they do like They've done you know the flash and other type superhero shows like the arrow but you know how like the budget for those are kind like Riverdale for some of you.
They're pretty high, but also not as high where the CJ's not as
great. Honestly, it's giving CW vibes, but back when it was the WB is really the vibes that this movie gives. So, great job, sir, whoever you are. Great, great job, indeed.
Now, what are your overall thoughts?
My overall thoughts are, I I didn't like this movie.
And, you know, we're on a path. He just keeps busting out movies. I don't think he's ever going to stop. So, that's how death takes him. I
mean, he said, he did say, he did say that he has a goal in mind to like stop. He would like to do TV So he has a goal in mind Hopefully I mean I'm crossing my finger fingers here like hopefully death does not take him Yeah, haha
sorry, didn't
mean to leave that out there We still need National Treasures 3 and it I think I read it somewhere that that is been confirmed that they're in the process of doing that Well that would be
great, I would watch that Which says a lot about me and my my choices So.
Anyway,
my, my thoughts on this, it's, it's forgettable. Like literally I had to really think about stuff and was it a retirement plan? No.
Is there a kill count? We don't know. That's how forgettable it was. Yeah. I'm sure people die. His friend died. To
be honest, I think he killed someone with a flip flop Yeah,
I think that might have happened.
I really honestly can't recall but I guess Well, as you always say if you enjoyed this episode and you'd like to help support the podcast Please subscribe and leave a rating review on what is it Apple or
Apple, Apple podcast, Google, and anywhere you want to listen to the podcast. Emily will do, we'll have a, This
time, Shawn will look just
how much I know!
Sorry, Emily! I guess. I guess. For for her reads to do and there'll be some changes going on with the podcast. Just in like heated flyers and Like that in the works I'm trying to do some new stuff. New episodes. Yeah, growth, just seeing what works and what doesn't work and trying to be more well rounded and evolve.
Yeah,
I'm planning to, this goal, my goal for this year is to be more productive in this podcast. I kind of let it slide a little bit, but I want to, you know, trying to get more episodes. Pre-planned and worked and you know, kept some of the banks. So I'm not like, you know, struggling and rushing to get stuff done.
Yeah, these are not super planned. These are just. For fun. Yeah. These are for fun. If you enjoy it, great. If you don't, well, I don't know you, so I don't care.
But we, we are maybe try to do something where we do maybe a special type of, you know, episodes where we maybe review trailers and we maybe hit.
You know, a little of the bottle or we
get drunk and watch home alone too. Mm-Hmm. . And you can listen to our recap of how Kevin murdered those, those, the wet bandits. So yeah.
So those might be in the works. Still trying to work it out. But I'm gonna, I'm pointing to you. Do you have any, you want, any last words you wanna send us off on?
Yeah,
as always. I lost my hand, I lost my wife, Johnny has his hand, Johnny has his wife,
I'm a vampire. And with that, we'll see you guys in the next one. Bye. Bye.
📍 Thanks for tuning in to this episode of Second Emulation, where we explored the latest in pop culture, movies, TV shows, and anime. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe to the podcast on Apple, Spotify, or your favorite podcast app, and leave us a rating and review to help us reach more listeners. And don't forget to follow us on social media for even more pop culture content and to stay up-to-date on all the latest news and releases. As always, we welcome your feedback and suggestions for future episodes. So until next time, keep on Emulating and stay tuned for more exciting content.